"If only Buddha knew that criss cross applesauce was the ideal laptop sitting positionAAUAUAUAUAUAAAGAGAGGAGGHHHHHH"
"If I could just reach that god damn smoke alarm button. Whose idea was it anyway to put these in this fucking chapelAAAAUAUAAHAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I sure hope some milquetoast mom-rock band doesn’t ever co-opt my image for their crappy album coverAAAAUAUAUAUAUUUAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Yoko, help me out here. I’ve lost count. How many dutch ovens is that now? I swear to god I can’t stop eating these pomme frites. There’s just so many kind of dipping sauceAAAAUAUAUAUAUUAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH"
"Jesus it was a mistake to skip a shower this morning. Now I am sweating like a pig in July and there is a hot babe mere inches from me and I think I actually have a shot. Come on, Mohandas, pull yourself togetherAAAUAUUAUAUAAAAUAUUGUUUUGUGGGHHHHHH"
"This bath bomb from Lush is a bit too much. I mean, I like a good scented bath, but honey, lavender AND sea salt? Come onAUAUAUAUAAAAgAgAGAGAGAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Why why why why why why did I leave these fucking dog treats in my pocket on the way to the civil disobedience? As if I am not up shits creek enough living in fucking ALABAMA in this day and ageAAAUAUAUUAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH"
"God, finally the shade hits us. All these petticoats and overcoats and shit are cooking me like a game hen. I can actually relax now and have me a nice park sitAAAAUAUAUAAAGAGAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"OK. I just took off all my clothes, and am flirting like a motherfucker, and all these guys can do is talk shop about their stupid idea for a bicycle with a huge front wheel and a tiny back one? This is the absolute last time I try to hook up with bike messengersAAAUAUAUAAAGAGAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"