“If only Buddha knew that criss cross applesauce was the ideal laptop sitting positionAAUAUAUAUAUAAAGAGAGGAGGHHHHHH”
“If I could just reach that god damn smoke alarm button. Whose idea was it anyway to put these in this fucking chapelAAAAUAUAAHAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
“I sure hope some milquetoast mom-rock band doesn’t ever co-opt my image for their crappy album coverAAAAUAUAUAUAUUUAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“Yoko, help me out here. I’ve lost count. How many dutch ovens is that now? I swear to god I can’t stop eating these pomme frites. There’s just so many kind of dipping sauceAAAAUAUAUAUAUUAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH”

“Jesus it was a mistake to skip a shower this morning. Now I am sweating like a pig in July and there is a hot babe mere inches from me and I think I actually have a shot. Come on, Mohandas, pull yourself togetherAAAUAUUAUAUAAAAUAUUGUUUUGUGGGHHHHHH”
“This bath bomb from Lush is a bit too much. I mean, I like a good scented bath, but honey, lavender AND sea salt? Come onAUAUAUAUAAAAgAgAGAGAGAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
“Why why why why why why did I leave these fucking dog treats in my pocket on the way to the civil disobedience? As if I am not up shits creek enough living in fucking ALABAMA in this day and ageAAAUAUAUUAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH”
“OK. I just took off all my clothes, and am flirting like a motherfucker, and all these guys can do is talk shop about their stupid idea for a bicycle with a huge front wheel and a tiny back one? This is the absolute last time I try to hook up with bike messengersAAAUAUAUAAAGAGAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”












