"luiiospijf sksun 77777 ŒœþF#$%#$¶¤§¬¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ß‡Ð((((((( µå« LLOWWHQYAA 8 ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 8AUAUUUAAAAHHHHGHHGGGHHGHHHHHHHHHH"
"What did I say when I found out I had a painful skin virus? ‘All the shingle ladies! All the shingle ladies!’. HA! I crack myself up. No no, wait. What did I say when I got obsessed with eating potato chips out of a can? ‘All the Pringle ladies! All the Pringle ladies!’. LOLZERS!! I feel like I can tell you these jokes here and not be self-conscious. Jay doesn’t like my dad-humor around the house. Ok ok one more. What did I say when I got that game where you pull wooden blocks out of the tower and try to keep it from falling overAUUAHGAHAGHAGGAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Smell that? You smell that? That’s fifteen days without a shower. I tell ya, they write books, make movies about war… but they never really mention the stench. You put a guy in seventy five pounds of gear then have him hump twenty miles a day in the bush and try and tell me he’s not gonna smell like a turd deep fried in piss? You know what really burns me? Those movies where the soldier falls in love with the doe eyed girl in some war torn battlezone and they have a love scene. Total bullshit. I bet the minute either of their britches unzips a waft of toxic fume blasts out of there with enough force to knock out a tiger. Eye stinging crotch stench, man. It happens. Real sexy, eh? That’s warAUUAHGAHAGAHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"OMG OMG OMG OMG I woke up at 1am on Wednesday so I could camp out in sub zero temperatures for twenty seven hours so I could get $50 off a 31" Westinghouse 720i Plasma TV!!! I’m a little unsure, though, as the orderly line has now turned into a disorderly mass of unruly heathens all foaming at the mouth over the just announced doorbuster of a toaster that can accommodate bagels for 40% off. Shit. I think I just got elbowed in the ribs by my son’s Montessori teacher. Wait, the doors are opening!!! Every asshole for them self!!! Is that a toddler I just stomped? My deals are more important than your skullAUUAHHAGHAGAHAGHAGAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Quelle horreur. Life is just so hard. I mean really. What did I do to deserve this horrible life? I break my balls all day and make millions sitting around for 5 hours and then saying a few words to a camera and then going back to my fully furnished luxury trailer to nibble on succulent treats from the finest catering houses in Los Angeles and sip mineral water that costs $50 a bottle. Usually I have to DRAG myself out of bed to french the sexiest dudes in the world and lemme tell you that is just AWFUL. I mean, come on! Sometimes their idiotic looking mime makeup rubs off on me and the underappreciated makeup artist has to fuss over me for a few minutes just so I can look perfect for the next take. LE SIGH…. I really just hate this life and wish it would all stop. Anyway, I just signed on to another forty million dollar movie. WOE IS ME!!! I need to lie down. Maybe on this public beach, with this shirtless hunkAUUAHAGHAGAGAGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"HELL NO WE WON’T GO! That’s right, coppers, we’re occupying this field!! HELL NO WE WON’T GO!! What, you don’t understand the word ‘no’?? Its a really simple wordAUUAHGHAGHGAGHGHAGAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Allright, allright!! He says ‘Wrapped up like a douche’!! Whatever you say, Cass. I mean Mohammed. Whatever. Just stop hitting me! If you don’t want to accept that there is an earlier version of the song where you can clearly hear the word ‘deuce’ then fine. I’ll agree with you if you just stop bashing on meAUUAHHAGHAGAHAGAHAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Man, this has really changed my mind of my view of the police. Up until now, I was in a pretty sour mood over them, what with all the chilling images of brutality at protests. Its really nice to see that some of these guys are halfway decent. Maybe its time we all came together to figure out how to peacefully co-existAUUUAHHAGHAGHAGHAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"What a revoltin’ development. Yes I used to be the top cop in Philly, but I am also, and will always be, the top Commandant Lassard cosplayer in the country. Nay, in the WORLD. This is all just a big misunderstanding! I am just out looking for an acceptable Mahoney so we can attend AcademyCon 2011AUUAHHAGHAGGAGAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Hermy, has anybody ever asked why somebody can’t conjour up a seat cushion for these communal dining benches? Come to think of it, what about, you know, A FURNACE. Like, I get the whole aesthetic of having some kind of olde timey castle ass training house for our magical bullshit, but this is still, you know, PRESENT DAY, and we were not born in 1371. We are used to air conditioning, walls with a minimum R value of 21 and indoor plumbing. I mean really. Do you know what the privy smells like after the Weasley twins have a go? Its not good. Trust me. Though I am sure the ladies privy gets put through the paces too. If the Weasley family shares more traits than just the ginger hair, then I bet Ginny can pack a wollop in the canAUUAHHAGHAGHHAGGAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"At the general assembly they said to clean up the park while we occupied and that would help keep the opinion of our movement positive. That was all fine and dandy but WHO BROUGHT THE FUCKING RABID WIENER DOG?? Is this the beast that’s responsible for those heinous turds I cleaned up back by the shrubs? It smelled like a singed orc taint. Don’t you people take your pets to the vet? This thing has clearly been neglected in terms of booster shots and shit cus it looks like its fixin’ to bit my ass off. As if it weren’t annoying enough to clean up your god damn chocolate bar wrappers…. You do know that not all dark chocolate is vegan, right? MoronsAUUAHHAGHAGHAGAGGAGGGGAHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Man this game is RUFF. I think I’ve just gonna have a seat on the grass for a minute and rest up. I’m dog tired! These defensive tackles are coming after me like pitbulls! What? You want me to ease up on the dog puns? Jesus will you all just lighten upAUUAHAGHAGAHAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Now Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! But this ain’t about that. Now listen, I’m an insecure little dude who has to make up for my inferiority complex by clamoring for attention in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. I’m just gonna need little more time to occupy this stageAUUAGHAGHAGAHAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"OK where’s that guy going? I’m just gonna go ahead and follow himAAUUAGHAGAHAGHGGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Sorry, Pop. I blew it. I BLEW IT. I wasted all that scrilla on blackjack and Beanie Babies. They were supposed to appreciate in value! How was I supposed to know the Beanie Baby bubble was going to burst right when I got into the game?!?! God I am such a tool. Forgive me! Here, just let me get down on the ground and grovel a littleAUUUAHAGHAGAHAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"