"Weirdest. Company picnic. EverAUUUAHAGAGAGAHAGAGGAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Why the hell did we sign on to a non-SAG remake of ‘Up The Creek’… IN WINTER?? The director clearly does not understand what it means when the phrases ‘adverse weather warning’ and ‘gale force winds’ come up on the forecast. I know I am partially to blame. I know I could have said no. Its just I’m such a huge fan of 80s boobie comedies that I couldn’t resist, and now I’m going straight to Davey Jones’ locker and I didn’t even get to see who they cast as Heather MerriweatherAUUAHAGAHAGAHGAGAHAGAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Hank, what the hell are you flailing your arms at? I know that Broadway musicals aren’t your thing, and I also know that you’re not the biggest Billy Joel fan, but can you keep your disapproving gesticulations to yourself until a crappy song like Uptown Girl or We Didn’t Start The Fire? I didn’t make a peep when you dragged me to the all day Lord Of The Rings Trilogy marathon at the Cinerama. I didn’t get up and start yelling when Legolas did that totally fake looking swingy horse mount move that looked really stupidAUUAHHAGHAGGHAGAGGAGAGGGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Zinny, why so touchy?? You can’t take a little ball busting, eh? I’m sure France will get the McRib sooner or later. Its only a matter of time! But until then, you’re welcome to visit me in Ancona and we can go down to the local McD and have a delicious, succulent, juicy McRib sandwichAUUAHHAGHAGAHAGHAGA…… AUUAGGHAGGAHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Screeeeeaaaammm for me, Long Beach! SCREEAAAAMMM FOR ME, LONG BEACH!!! SCREAAAAMMMAAUUAGAGGAGAGGAGGGGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Life RULES. Ever since we came out of Thunderdome we’ve been riding high. For a minute it was dicey and I didn’t think we were going to win. I credit you for coming up with that finishing blow to Tournee Du Chat Noir. Now that we’re the #1 poster for 22-37 year old white girls to hang in their apartment we can finally settle down and get on with our livesAUUAHHAGHAGAGAGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"OK ladies, let’s settle down. I am calling to order today’s meeting. Yesterday we discussed the philosophical ramifications of male stereotypes and seen through the lens of Pretty In Pink. That brought up some good points, so today I’d like to discuss how some of those concepts came up just a few short years later in Less Than Zero. I know its a bit of a stretch, but work with me here. This window occupation has only just begun, and we have all dayAUUUAHUAHHHAGGAGAGAGGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Très drôle, industrial revolution. We really love the stunning advancements in lung-clogging smog, horrific deaths due to getting run over by monstrous locomotives and getting diced to shreds in industrial factory machinery. We really love that toddlers have to work fourteen hours a day, phallic brick structures belch black smoke into our faces all day and those oh-so-chic neverending torrents of toxic sludge barfing into our waterways. Despite all that, I see that Amazon has a cyber Monday deal for those new fangled pantaloons people are calling the ‘blue jeans’! For that, I will gladly sit in this park to wait for the public steam powered CompaqAUUAUHAHAGHAGAHGAGAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Whoever brought the Bose iPod docking boom box is a BAWSE. Now we can mosh to Metal Church in the park and form up our circle pit properlyAUUAHHAGHAGAHAGGAGAHGGGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Wait. Hold the phone. Did I just see an old timey butler guy getting down with a guy in a bear suit? These pedals can not go fast enough away from anything having to do with thatAUUAHAGHAGHAGGAGAGAGGAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I was THIS close to being the model for the Gorton’s Fish Sticks campaign. I could have gone down in history as the god damn Gorton’s Fisherman. You know what they said? ‘Your skin is too olive toned. It doesn’t work with the yellow rain slicker.’ Can you believe it? Olive toned? So now I’m stuck out here driving candy ass resort town police chiefs around in my boatAUUUAHHAGGGAGGAGGAHHHHHHHHHHHGHGHG
"Dudes, can I ask you all something? Why are we always jiggling? No matter where we go, we’re slightly jittering or gyrating and its really kind of doing a number on my joints. We’re not getting any younger and I’d like it if we could just stop for a minute and have a seat. Maybe in that park over thereAUUHHAGHAGAHAGAGAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"
“‘Play the hand you’re dealt!’, they say. I’ve heard it a million times and you know what? Its all bullshit. Tammy gets three boobs, and I wind up a malformed little stomach DeVito. Yeah, what exactly am I supposed to do with this hand? I’m curious. What colossally fucked up game of cards would this hand be beneficial in? While you’re thinking I’ll just go ahead and experience the feeling of a fart brewing right behind my throat. If there was only a way to make you understand what that feels likeAUUAHHAGHAGHAGHAGGGAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
"Hey. Wassup smoke. So, I’m willing to accept that you are cryptic and only come around once in a while, but only if we both agree that at some point you open up a bit and tell me more about yourself. Does that sound OK? You can pull your little pranks on me and my camper buddies but just don’t stay so closed off. We’re all interested in you, and want to get to know you better. You’ll feel much better if you reveal something, too. That’s how friendship works. Its give and take. Last time I opened my heart to somebody they turned out to be a really corny new age mystic all into magnets and crystals and glowing caves of power and stupid shit like that. Just don’t be that, OK? Please? Do we have a dealAUYUUAHHAGHAGGAGGAHGGAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"